Basically, it seems that the daughter of Keith has fallen out with the son of Paris over whether she knew the true identity of Katy Perry, the singer of popular hit UR So Gay, and for how long she has known this.
All of this would seem rather inconsequential to the rest of us, but Perez, who has been championing Perry for the best part of a year, has used a minor discrepancy to launch a number of pithy and, indeed, petty assaults on the girl everyone loved in 2006 but now, not so much.
You can read the whole thing either on Perez's blog or Lily's MySpace journal and, seeing as it's so convoluted and catty, we might just leave you to do that. As an example of what you can expect, however, here's an excerpt from Perez, taking issue with Lily's ignorance of the whereabouts of the offices of Capitol records:
"You're obviously an idiot!
"How could you not know that your US label, Capitol Records, has an office in Los Angeles????
"In fact, their building is one of the most iconic structures in Hollywood!
"Did we also mention that you're a liar?"
Sterling stuff. It makes you proud to be an internet scribbler, that's for sure.
Middle-aged behaviour alert: Smart Gordon reports in this morning's Bizarre that ex-Formula 1 baron Eddie Jordan is to attend this weekend's Isle of Wight festival. And, of course, he plans to do it in an unnecessarily lavish fashion. Says Smarto: "He will arrive at the Isle of Wight festival aboard a multi-million-pound Sunseeker yacht full of playboy racing drivers and glamorous girls.
"The Irishman's band Eddie Jordan and the Robbers, in which he drums, will play the Seaclose Park bash at the weekend."
In the News will not be at Seaclose Park this weekend, but does hope that this sparks a new trend for fat cats playing festivals. Donald and the Trumps? Stuart Rose and the Thorns? Richard Branson and the Pickles? Bring 'em all on.
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